psyducker:

*marries u but only as a friend*

(via crunchier)

childservices:

"Ima need ur license and registration……and ur kik"

(via crunchier)

owlwright:

me: *drinks water* health god

(via crunchier)

"Nightmares, but I haven’t slept in ages"

War by Former Vandal (via onceademon)

(via zetsuubo)

netlfix:

hash browns will be served at my wedding

(Source: netlfix, via exrthwalker)

burgrs:

what if flies said “hey” every time they flew by your ear 

(via crunchier)

spookythug:

i want a friend with benefits (dental and medical insurance, 401k retirement plan, etc.)

(via gnarly)

heartbreaks:

*lies in the sun for 5 mins*

wheres my tan

(via sextinqinclass)